Going through a breakup is one of the toughest things we have to go face in life, because getting hurt when you are in love is no cakewalk. So, when you are overwhelmed by your emotions and cannot verbally put your thoughts across to your loved one, writing it all down might prove to be easier. A letter for breaking up with someone you love is the best solution to avoid an extreme confrontation and endless drama.
The more you love someone, the harder it is to find the right words to say to end it. So writing down your feelings may just be the better solution that allows you to find closure in a more dignified way.
A text or a breakup phone call is too impersonal for someone you love and may end up being hurtful. Hence, a letter for breaking up with someone you love will not only make it very personal, but will also add more value for the effort you put in.
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18 Sample Letters For Breaking Up With Someone You Love
How does one begin to write a good enough letter for breaking up with someone you love that includes all the things you want to put across to your partner? The best and simplest solution to this is to be as honest as possible and to keep it simple. Do not over-explain yourself because you might end up making things confusing or missing the main point entirely.
When the emotions of a breakup are overflowing, it may be hard to compose a well-written, goodbye emotional breakup letter to boyfriend, so the samples listed below may be of a little help.
Though each breakup letter surely needs to be written from a personal perspective, these letters can help you through the process of getting it all out by putting everything down on paper.
1. Break up letter to someone who hurt you
All breakups are emotional but it makes it worse when you are trying to write a breakup letter to someone who hurt you. How do you write a letter when there are these overwhelming mix of emotions where you are hurt, but you also love the said person? This breaking up with someone you love letter has to be really firm and carefully crafted.
I have tried to get over the fact that you kept hurting me so much in the past couple of months. I tried to explain the situation and my problems to you on multiple occasions, but you were barely there to listen.
Your emotional and physical unavailability when I attempted to deal with all our problems has hurt me. I think the way you invalidate everything that I share with you and always neglect my emotions is very toxic in nature and is harming me.
Your lack of effort in the relationship is something that I no longer want to build a future around. So, today, I have chosen to move on from this relationship and try to make a better future for myself. I think I deserve someone who values me more than you ever did. I am sorry that I am ending things with you but I need to prioritize myself and my mental health over everything else.
I wish you all the best for your life ahead.
2. Break up letter when you are not ready to commit
How do you tell someone you love and who loves you that you are not mentally ready for a long term commitment? There is hardly any easy way to do it, but composing a letter for breaking up with someone you love that bares it all might just help to ease the way. Here is a little example of a letter when you are not ready to commit.
I am sorry that we think so differently about relationships and commitment. I know how badly you want to be in a long term relationship with someone who is committed to you and the bond you share.
But currently, that is more than I can offer. I am dealing with a lot in my life and I am just not ready to commit to anyone now. You believe in marriage and a stable relationship, and I want to live every day as it comes, and this difference can’t be the foundation of any relationship. I think it would be best if we part ways before we end up hurting each other even more.
Our present relationship is great, and I do love you. I know you do too, but I do not see any way to promise you the future you want to have with your partner. I really hope you can understand where I am coming from.
Warmth and love,
3. An honest letter for when you have fallen in love with someone else
The situation gets really messy in a relationship when you have fallen in love with someone else and have no clue how to say it out loud. In such a case, how do you write it?
There’s no better or easy way to put this, so I am just going to say it. For the past few weeks, I have been talking to someone else and I have started developing feelings for them. I know that no matter what I say there is no apology that can make the situation right.
But I don’t want to cheat you in any way since it would not be fair to all the good times and love we have shared for so many years.
I do not think there is any way that our relationship can fall back into place when I see myself having feelings for a new person. Harper, you deserve someone who will give you their all, because you are one of the best people I know.
I am sorry for ending it like this. I hope you forgive me.
4. A sentimental letter for when you think love has faded
There are situations in life which rarely have an explanation for how you feel. Many a time you might reach a point in your relationship when you think love has faded and there is no way forward. How do you write a letter for breaking up with someone you love to express these feelings without hurting them any more than they already are?
I feel like our love has faded over time and our relationship has run its course. I know it may feel like it’s sudden but I have been fighting this for a while. But my attempts to fall back in love and rekindle the passion I once felt have failed. It is sad that I feel this way because I still care about you so much, but I cannot stay in a relationship where I don’t feel the love I should. I will always respect and cherish the love we shared because it was life-changing for me, but I have to move on. I can’t keep lying to you or myself and fake something that is not there anymore.
I genuinely hope you understand where I am coming from.
5. A sensitive letter for when you are in a long-distance relationship
When you are in a long-distance relationship, all the effort you need to put in to keep the love and relationship alive through virtual mediums can take a toll on your relationship. And, sometimes, the distance can become so unbearable that you might decide to break up.
If you are composing a letter breaking up with your long distance partner, you have to be extremely sensitive while writing it.
There are no bounds to the love we share, and I don’t think I have ever loved someone so much before you. But the constant physical distance between us and the staying apart for months on end only to meet on video calls now and then is not how I want my life to be.
I want to be able to come back home to the person I love. I want to stay together, be physically close, to help the relationship grow. Currently, our circumstances are not such that we can be near each other and make this work.
I love you enough to want to push through this and I have tried so hard. But the problems of long-distance relationships have become too much for me to handle.
So, as horrible as this feels, I think it is time we say our goodbyes and end this relationship before it becomes harder than it already is.
Hugs and kisses,
6. A hard-hitting letter when your partner has cheated on you
When you are cheated on by your partner, the hurt can take over your mind and make it that much harder to compose a breakup letter. But the letter below may just be able to guide you through the process.
I am still in shock and can’t figure out why you did what you did. I kept blaming myself for your unfaithfulness and felt that I was not enough for you. But today, I stop blaming myself for your failing, and I will put myself first and end this right here.
I do not think I will be able to forgive you any time soon, so don’t try to contact me; let me heal in peace.
7. A breakup letter for a toxic relationship
Even when there is a lot of love, a relationship can become toxic for many reasons. Often, there is no way to fix such toxic relationships. How do you articulate a letter for breaking up with someone you love but who is not good for you as a person?
I think we have a lot of love to share, but this is just not meant to be. We are the wrong fit for each other and I believe we bring out the worst in one another.
It is becoming extremely difficult to live like this. This relationship and the toxic habits we have developed are not allowing us to grow as humans and I think it is time we end this and start the process of healing separately.
8. A compassionate letter for a partner with addiction
When you date an addict, there are many unforeseen situations that no one can prepare you for and they end up taking a toll on you. Addiction severely affects relationships and the mental well-being of the people in it. So, how do you respectfully get out of such a relationship and stop hurting yourself?
Here is a letter for breaking up with someone you love but can’t stay with because of their addiction.
My dear Ben,
There are not enough words to describe how much I love you and want to be there for you to help you get through your addiction. But I don’t have it in me anymore to provide you the level of emotional support you need to get better and live a sober life.
I know how hard you are trying to get better and I don’t want to hold you back due to my lack of emotional capacity. I think we should end this here, before either or both of us end up getting hurt.
Lots of love,
9. An apology breakup letter when you hurt your partner
In life, you end up hurting the people you love, sometimes so much that there is no turning back from it. Here is a goodbye emotional break up letter to boyfriend to help you see such a breakup through.
I have no words to justify why I did what I did, so, I won’t try to explain myself and make it worse than it already is.
All I can say is that I am sorry. I wish I could go back in time and change what I did but I can’t. I know you deserve so much better than this.
I think we should end this now so that I don’t hurt you even more by being near you.
10. Breakup letter for an abusive partner
When your partner manipulates or gaslights you, it becomes harder to speak up for yourself. You could be seeing and dealing with the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship but still find it difficult to get out. Writing down your feelings in the form of a letter can often be a safer option, especially when you are dealing with an abusive partner.
Here is how you write a break up letter to someone who hurt you to let them know about the abuse and trauma they made you live through.
When your romantic partner gaslights and manipulates you, it can be hard to come to terms with and even harder to leave. But I feel I have lived in this toxic cycle of loving you and getting abused in return for way too long and it has really messed up my mental health.
I need to get out of this relationship right now and this is the last you will hear from me. I hope you respect my wishes for once and don’t try to make it worse than it already is or I will have to resort to extreme measures to solve this.
11. Breakup letter for when you lose respect for your partner
Respect is one of the core pillars of any relationship, whether romantic or otherwise. So, it is wise to get out of a relationship where your partner has no respect for you, your opinions and your choices. Want to write a breakup letter that tells your partner exactly that? Here is how.
I know we started off our relationship with a lot of expectations. But, over time, I have realized how unfairly you treat me. You do not respect my choices, laugh away my opinions, and don’t think my career choices matter.
Further, over the past year, the way you have behaved with me, my family, and friends has made me lose all the love I had for you. Now, how is it possible to stay in a relationship when the love has faded?
I see no way forward for us and I think it would be best to put an end to it now. I hope you see logic in what I am trying to say.
All the best for your life ahead,
Related Reading: Men vs Women – 5 Differences In How They Handle A Breakup
12. A breakup letter for an overly possessive partner
Living with an excessively possessive partner can be very claustrophobic and eventually lead to a lot of self-doubt for you. Wondering how you can write a letter to assert your opinion about the relationship and end it for good? Here is an example of a letter for breaking up with someone you love because they are overly possessive.
I have been looking back at our time together for a while now and have constantly felt that your constant lack of trust in me is not healthy. Your doubt in me, has me questioning my own actions and in the long run it has affected my self-confidence.
The way you question me about every person I meet or talk to is not healthy and this relationship needs to end now. I don’t want to end up living in a pool of self-doubt as a consequence of the way you make me feel due to your possessiveness and controlling nature.
13. A sensitive breakup letter for sexual incompatibility
Even when both partners have a lot of love to offer, sometimes sexual incompatibility becomes a major issue in a long term relationship. Here is an example of how you can write a letter for breaking up with someone you love, but also can’t stay with due to sheer sexual incompatibility.
I cherish the bond and love that we share, but I truly believe that we are not sexually compatible as partners. The lack of sexual chemistry is becoming increasingly harder for me to navigate around this problem anymore.
I think we think and approach sexual needs in very different ways and there is no denying that it has caused a lot of dissatisfaction for both of us. There is no point in dragging this on because, for a long term relationship to work, we need to be comfortable on all fronts with each other.
I really hope you find someone better suited for you. I wish you all the best.
14. An honest breakup letter for a difference in future plans
It hurts when your plans for your career affect your relationship of all things. But it can be tough when you are someone who wants to enjoy the other areas of life beyond work but your partner is a wokaholic.
If your relationship has come to a screeching halt because of your difference in career paths and future plans, here’s how you can end it with a letter:
It breaks my heart to write this, but I am afraid that our career goals are too dramatically different to ever let us live together.
I respect the fact that you want to achieve big things in life and want to earn millions and are working so hard to do so. But I am not someone who can be swallowed up by her career and give up on her normal life.
I am not ready to be a workaholic and live a life that will adversely affect my mental health. I hope you understand what I am trying to say here and forgive me for ending things like this.
I wish you all the best and sincerely hope you realize your goals.
15. A breakup letter for a partner who is lying to you
When you realize that your partner has been lying to you and you think it is affecting your relationship, there is nothing wrong in choosing to break up. When you think the love has faded, you can move on by writing this honest letter for breaking up with someone you love that lets them know your feelings:
I hate to do this in writing, but I could hardly bring myself to say this in person. I know that you have been lying to me for the past 6 months about your ex-husband.
I have been living in denial for a while now. But I don’t think there is any part of me that wants to deal with a lying partner. I can’t seem to convince myself to be with you anymore. I still love you and I believe that is part of the problem here. But I am still not ready to be in a relationship with someone I can’t trust even if I do love them.
16. A breakup letter when you need me time to heal
When your past trauma is affecting your present relationship and you realize you need to take time for yourself to heal, it is better you make your partner aware of your thoughts and to do it with compassion.
Lately, I have started to accept that I have not recovered from the trauma of the last romantic relationship I was in before I was with you.
Related Reading: How To Get Over Someone You Love Deeply – 9 Steps To Follow
I think I should take some time off from our relationship and work on my own self to help me heal and be a better person for both you and myself. I believe that if it is meant to be, then we will surely cross paths again.
17. A breakup letter when there is a lack of appreciation
When your partner makes you feel unworthy and pretends to be better than you, it is not a good sign. Maybe you have tried everything. But no matter what you do for them, it doesn’t seem to remind them of your worth. When your partner does not value you, you need to let them know why it is bothering you even as you choose to end the relationship with a letter for breaking up with someone you love, but who does not appreciate you.
I have been thinking about saying this to you for a while now. I don’t feel valued when I am around you. Your need to constantly make me feel small about myself in order to make yourself feel better about you is toxic and is hurting me.
This pain you have caused me is making me constantly doubt myself and forget my worth. I think it is time we say our goodbyes and move on from this relationship.
18. Breakup letter for when you have different ideas of family
When you are in a serious, long term relationship, you tend to start working together on building your idea of a family. But what makes up a family for you may not work for them. This can be enough cause for people to part ways, especially when the question of babies is involved.
While some married couples choose not to have kids and are still happy in their relationship, not every couple may be able to agree on this. Maybe you don’t want a kid and your partner does. The consequent disagreements can put a lot of pressure on your relationship and mental health. So, here is a simple letter for breaking up with someone you love, but can’t hold on to due to both of you having different ideas of family.
I know we have been discussing having kids and a family for a while now. I can see how excited you are about that, but I am so scared to tell you that I don’t want to have kids. Not now, not ever.
I know my decision to not have kids will break your heart so I have kept pushing this conversation for months, but I don’t think that is fair to you in any way. I think it would be best if we end this cordially and try to find partners whose ideas of a family match with ours. I hope you understand.
There is hardly any way to make a breakup easier for anyone but writing your words down in the form of a letter may help you articulate your thoughts a little better.
You must also remember that no breakup or relationship is simple and there may be some conversations that you need to have even after you do send the letter. But the letter will still help you start the conversation and hopefully help put an emphasis on your emotions and your reasons behind breaking up.
Writing a breaking up to someone you love letter isn’t easy. But sometimes writing down the painful words may prove easier than saying them. Just make sure you are considerate of your own feelings and theirs as much as possible. Honesty is definitely the best policy in this case.
A good breakup message is honest. There should be no room for ambiguity. Don’t end up giving them hope and stringing them along by mistake. A clean cut is definitely best. Try not to go out of your way to be hurtful, because the words may come back to haunt you later. But, if they did you wrong, you don’t have to hide that either.